Bean Pictures

So, the bean...which u can see in the video, is this cool sculpture that is like a giant mirror. all the curves of the bean make for some pretty neat photos. here are a few for ur viewing pleasure.

Live from Snowland

so, here's a little vid vid from when megs was with me in chicago. the date? saturday december 1st. we got to experience the first true snow together that saturday...before that...there were only minor flurries. what a joy. i was wearing inappropriate footwear that day leading to eventual pain in my soaking wet and cold toes...but it was WELL worth it darlings. well worth it!

Piano Man

i am continually amazed at the giftings humans have and how touching those gifts are. i have been blessed to encounter several individuals with a spirit about them...a spirit that runs through them. just the other night i was broken by music...but broken in such a beautiful way that the tears that fell were wonderful tears...feelings i could not justly explain. and at such a random time. i thought i was just going to be able to relax and listen as my friend practiced his jury pieces...but something shifted and with that shift came a rush of emotion...a musical piece that shouted something different...a piece that danced...and my heart danced with it.

i am so grateful for those who are open to sharing their gifts for through those gifts there is liberation. i pray i too will always be willing to share my gifts with others.

we are crazy people us humans...able to birth things we don't even understand.

Geetaring it Up

come to chicago tonight...specifically to north park university...then to java...and well....i will lullaby u for a while.

SnowBalls!

on tuesday we had the first "real" snow of the winter....or is it still fall? anyway, we got several inches and u know what else we got?....

TO HAVE AN AMAZING SNOWBALL FIGHT!

Megs!

meg is here visiting me. and let me tell u...it is amazing. we have been having a lot of fun goofing around the citay. our adventuring started right when we got on the el from the airport. we met a man from texas named richard. we talked history, politics, pizza, accents, different things. it was fun. and since then we have been nonstop. let's have a bit of a recap:

italian food restauranting
michigan avenue walking
store shopping
picture taking
movie making
stopping in hershey and ghiradelli stores for the sole reason of getting some free chocolate samples
snowfall fest
millenium park
bean sculpture
rainy slushy snowy mess
numb toes
chatting it up with a guy from the crunch fitness gym as he kindly searched google for directions for us
gigantic christmas tree admiring
strangers....yea....we have had some interactions with strangers....but really...is that a surprise?
classical music concert attending complete with us looking HOT:according to roomate Havs...and several other people
mcdonalds late night bonding....i know...i said it. mcdonalds....i don't like to eat fast food....but we got desserts so it's kinda different...haha
movie watching with friends
cozy tea timing
morning breakfast eating (i made french toast)
blue man group ushering and show watching for free! (it was extremely creative and awesome and crazy and megs got a blue man lap dance...okay well she was sitting and he was standing on her chair arm rests...shaking his groove thing...near her face....it was SO funny.)
blue man group staff conversing resulting in free cds from chad!
the grafton beverage and burgering to live irish music
walking walking walking
and we still have a day...or half a day of free time

i am so thankful to have megmegs here. it has been great sharing some of my life here with her.

u guys are welcome to come too.
COME!

Amen

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that really matter."

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Black Friday

today is black friday.

i received some money from loved ones for my birthday this year and although i need to get some close-toed shoes as the weather has been dropping to the thirties...i could not justify shopping today.
i don't know when we became like this. that we would line up in front of stores the day after thanksgiving at 3am in order to get a good deal.
and i'm not judging u, if u are one who likes to do that. i mean, lots of ppl do, and saving money is great, i like saving money too, but it's something i have been struggling with lately.
and not just black friday but with shopping in general. i mean, i like to buy things cheap but i know it is at the expense of so many others. seriously, i don't even know which stores are non-sweat shop stores besides a couple. and that saddens me...yet at the same time...i don't have very much money and fair trade and eco friendly is so expensive. i have been looking at eco friendly shoes too. and they are cute....but about $80 for a pair of sneakers. and i could go down to famous footwear and get a pair of shoes and then another for 1/2 off and THEN 10% off on top of that...and honestly, i probably will check that out....and does that make me a terrible person? sometimes my conscience screams so loud at me. if we all wanted to do things right, perhaps that process could lower fair trade and environmentally friendly items, but we'd need so many participants.

so tell me....can we do it?

Hmm

"Perhaps the tragedy of our time is that such an overwhelming number of us who declare Jesus as Lord have become domesticated-or, if you will, civilized. We have lost the simplicity of our early faith. Beyond that, we have lost the passion and power of that raw, untamed, primal faith."

-McManus, The Barbarian Way

Oh and PS

i had the opportunity to see my people perform in chicago. the Danish Gymnastics team came to campus friday. i was able to attend a workshop during friday day that they put on for the exercise and sport department. due to a lack of communication, we were unaware we needed to wear workout clothes so we proceeded to do all these interesting warmup exercises in our street clothing...which for some included a sweater dress and me jeans and a long shirt dress thing not suitable for moving around in really. they did a lot of partner game type warmups which made everyone feel very silly. it was fun though....good ice breaker. later that night they did an hour and a half show. the performance at night was splendid as well. the women danced with ropes and hula hoops and did lyrical modernish dancing....with some hip hoppy moves as well. the men did a lot of jump tumbling (lots of high flips) and they did this crazy dancing, tumbling skit thing as well, along with a number that invloved them in little exercise shorts doing exercises that were used in denmark in the 60's. funny stuff. gymnastics in denmark is a big part of everyday life....children to the elderly participate in it.


and so, it's settled. i'm moving to denmark to join the gymnastics team. afterall....they are my people. hahaha. :0)

Meet Shannon's Faces...on a Sunday Evening

Meet Keziah

Knowing Nothing

the more i look, the more i see, the more i listen, the more i read, the more i feel, the more i do...the more i realize i know nothing. and i'm thinking that knowing nothing is a good place to be.

Pumpkins in the Park!

today, i am running my first 5k along with a couple friends! and i am ExCiTeD!. a 5k is 3.1 miles. i like to run about 3 miles regularly, HOWEVER, i am going to start increasing my mileage for more of a challenge and because i can and i want to see what i can do with this body i have been granted rent of.

this race is fall themed and there will be costumes and live music at the finish. a festive ocassion really. oh yea...

and an update:
the race was a LOT of fun. we ran 9-something minute miles. i like running with a crowd. it gets backed up sometimes but that's alright. and the cheering ppl on the sidelines are encouraging. running along with others helps with the motivation. now it's time to step it up. a 10k perhaps soon? i hope so. i ran with three other friends. drew got ahead of us, but jenna, krista, and i stayed on pace together. we're gonna do more races. we decided. there were some funny costumes. some guy ran in a jaws costume so u saw a big felt shark head and then some hairy legs. three other guys did a chariot thing. two guys were horses and then there was the roman guy behind them. overall it was a good time. drew went as a swede in the colors of the swedish flag...ha...and jenna krista and i were ninjas. hardcore i know. too bad we didn't take any pictures. oh well. love.

Quote of the Day

today, five year old quron said in regards to playing a game of uno against another boy:

"i gotta try an beat this chicken nugget here..."

i immediately was like, "whaat?" and laughed. and quron was like, "oh mybad"

he says some of the funniest stuff. what a cutie.

Blast from this Summer's Past

oh friends. oh family. oh festivals. oh festivals of jazz. oh jazziness. oh oh.

Streets to Conquer

TODAY....i got a bicycle! it is on loan and all but it is a fabulous blessing. as long as the weather is nice i will be able to save $14 a week getting to work via public transportation. i will be able to throw on a backpack, roll up a pant leg, and pedal my way to nowhere and anywhere. perhaps i will wheel on down to the lake.

things are moving here...in directions yet unknown but i am very at peace and it is wonderful. sometimes not knowing what will come next is so scary and at other times it is really exciting. right now, i am feeling the exciting. i do miss my loved ones though, don't u worry.

i saw two dead squirrels on the road on the way to church this morning. my friend who generously offered to pick me up said they must have been lovers and died together. kinda romantic...in a somewhat morbid way.

may we find truth friends, may we seek truth.

Bugs

i had bugs stuck to my clothing today. one to my eyelid as well. haha. and there are benefits to understanding at least some of a different language than ur first one. for example...when u are riding ur bicycle on a path through a park and hear someone say, "...pasar en bicicleta rapido...' he probably was talking about u. i laughed. :0)

in other events, i adventured to a cute little ice cream shop here is chicago the other night. well technically there is a chain of them. i just found that out just right now. when i want to go somewhere i have never been, i go on google and type in things such as, "late night ice cream shops in chicago" and bam! there i see some options. i have googled many places before. and i mean really, there are some blessings that come with technology. the ice cream shop is called bobtail soda fountain. www.bobtailicecream.com

on the way back on the el, i met an interesting character. he wasn't quite himself that night. haha. anyway, he stood up to get off the train but realized it was too soon of an exit and so he sat back down near me. when he realized i existed, he said hello and held out his hand and told me his name was jim. i shook his hand back and told him my name was shannon. he then said he was a bad influence and was going to leave me alone. so, he got up and walked back over to his group of friends. a girl told me not to mind him. now let me give u a bit of a description of this guy before i finish the story. he had tats and big earrings, a hat and black shirt on...some baggy jeans. looked like a rocker of sorts i guess one might say.

so, a few exits go by and then it is time for jim to get off. but instead of him just getting off, he came back over to me to shake my hand again. he muttered something like, "sorry i was not chivalrous.' he continued to say while holding my hand, "maybe we will see each other again.' he then kissed my hand and said, "i love u." and then had to jolt away. his female friend was having to stay in the doorway to keep it from closing him in and she was calling to him to come. haha. it was random. who woulda thought mr tough looking guy was actually a prince charming...two of my roomates were with me that night and just laughed and said, "it always happens to shannon."

peace.

Breeze

there's something about the breeze tonight.
it's blowing through my window.
blowing through my hair.
car motors, voices, and sirens float all around but the breeze,
the breeze is calming.

I Don't Remember Inviting U...

today i took a shower with a gigantic cockroach! i didn't mean to, it was just there all of the sudden walking in the tub near my feet. as far as i recall i DID NOT and i repeat DID NOT invite the monster to shower with me. and as a result i screamed and jumped out of the shower wondering what to do. i ended up placing a cup over it. then later when my roomate kez got up...she smashed it.

and what do u ask is my opinion in regards to cockroaches living in our house? no thank u.

Wrinkles

i wrinkle my forehead a lot. and:

I GOT OFFERED THE JOB AT THE YMCA! I WILL BE WORKING WITH YOUTH!

seriously? blessings. oh blessings. thank You.

good evening.

C.S. Lewis Said:

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

Okay Funny Story

so....if u read my last entry u may remember that i said i was going to bicycle to trader joe's.
well. i did. but it took me FOREVER because i literally rode about 40 or 50 blocks out of the way! u see, i knew that trader joe's was only supposed to be about 3 miles from my apt, but i don't really know how quickly 3 miles go by on a bike....especially when u have to wait for traffic signals and such. so when i didn't see the street i was looking for i just kept going...and going....and going. eventually i asked a man on the sidewalk for directions but he had never heard of traders and he didn't know where the street i was looking for was. (it's called lincoln). there are only 3 trader joes in chicago. if u look on the trader joe's website there are SO many in cali and not very many on this side of the united states. anyway, so across the street there was a man who saw me asking for directions with no luck and he called to me. he was sitting on the curb smoking a cigarette. i heard him say "directions" along with whatever else so i went to see him and he asked me where i was headed. when i said lincoln he told me i was 20 or 25 blocks past it! haha. he was a nice man. i asked his name. it is frank. i said thank and he said, "take care shannon." as i turned around and rode past him again on the opposite side of the street, he called to me again saying bye so i turned my head to wave but i realize now that is a very dangerous thing to do....turn my head around while riding on a street.

eventually i reached my destination...very exhausted but happy. turns out i know the street i was looking for the whole time. i mean....the old town school of folk music is on lincoln...basically i was acting brain coma-ish or something. when i got there, i forgot why i had originally gone....so i wandered around for a bit until my memory returned.

i get so much joy out of riding around the city. and a bit of quad soreness. shoot man, bicycle riding....i like it. wanna ride bikes with me?

And Now for Some Shannon Love to You

i love u and i blow u kisses and smiles of the same loveful sort. and now, i am going to ride a bicycle to trader joe's and possibly purchase some things such as food and calcium chews! ha

oh and ps....this morning i was going to go and do a hip hop workout for free in the park but it was only 44 degrees outside. the weather has already been chilly here. i think i am going to start a petition against the weather. it will say something like this: "i believe mother nature it is a mean mean trick to alter the outside temperatures to anything below 60 degrees before the month of december." ...and then i'll get lots of ppl to sign it and i'll put it in a bottle (one that is biodegradable of course) and toss it into the ocean because maybe the ocean could be mother nature's tears and when she decides to get a tissue then maybe she'll find it floating around and she'll pick it up and read it and remember that it is still sposed to be warm and then....it will be warm.

Fantastical Things

here are some picures of my living status. i spend alot of time doing dishes in the kitchen and as u can see i still live a bit out of suitcases but all is well. we have a pineapple couch and an awesome green sitting chair which is perfect for cross-legged book reading. the walls are still pretty much plain, and we have no curtains up but that's alright. we will eventually.

and hey! wait a minute! i spose this is because i took these pictures with a laptop camera, but everything is actually opposite of what u see. so it looks just like that only the mirror image of. haha....weird.

Tired eyes

Tired eyes like caffeine and so today....so do i.

Soy Yogurt!

i, shannon larsen, enjoy fruit soy yogurt with dry oats in it.
i also enjoy regular yogurt with live cultures....that's right, i said regular yogurt.
i also enjoy walking around the city in my loafer shoes with my jeans rolled up.
i also enjoy people. yes. people.
and cooking.
i made some garlic, tomato, and basil whole wheat penne pasta last night for a potluck and it was a hit. i like making food for other ppl...and for myself.
i also like kids a lot. their honesty is amazing...and quite often hilarious.
i am going to workout tonight with one of my roomates. i am excited.
i also like that one of my other roomates got a new laptop and it's an ibook and so it has iphoto. it's pretty fun.
i am an earthy girl surrounded by athlete guys in most of my classes. it is definitely a new thing.
i now know how to take ur blood pressure. call me nurse shannon.
or just call me.
oh yea, and playing at the coffee shop was really fun. there was a very small audience but those who stayed to listen were perfect.

Oh Chicago

well, hello.

chicago i find myself in yet again. and what has it brought forth? oh many a things.

the plane ride here brought about some crazy inspiration in the form of a beautiful woman named jaqueline and some conversation. we spent hours speaking of dreams and passions and world changing. she even had me close my eyes and imagine i was something like seven years forward being reunited with her on the same plane. she had me tell her what i had been doing with my life...how i had lived out those passions deeply engraved in me. we laughed and shared many a moments. i don't believe we met by chance. just next to her was a nice man named matt. i had a poster with no poster tube and he offered me one of his. he said he new he had kept the smaller one for a reason. and my poster his reason became. he missed his plane home to michigan as our flight was delayed. the airport put him in a hotel but i wanted to give him some company. ya know...a friend. he was a nice friend to me. but, it wasn't to happen and i may never see him again. but nevertheless...thank you matt for ur kind offering of a poster tube!

school is school. lots of learning. i adore my class on intentional community. hello potlucks! and retreats to an organic berry farm! the farm was quite interesting. i enjoyed getting to know such a unique bunch of people. and running around through the grass and creek barefoot. i had some of the most delicious watermelon and concord grapes. and some great conversation.

this sunday i shall play my first chicago coffee house gig. the location? Savor the Flavor. it is near DePaul University. i think it will be pretty lax which is just fine with me. some friends from my songwriting class last semester play there regularly and said i could play sometime....so i jumped on it when i got back in town.

i seem to have pulled my left hamstring. my bad.

music of choice? sondre lerche

humidity? yes.

many challenges ahead? you bet.

and love? i am searching out more the reality of it. the part that is hard. the part that is everyone.

peace my darlings.

Breathing

i am breathing. and for that i am thankful. my stomach feels a bit nervous this morning and my feet have been twittering more than usual. and i am in perhaps the most honest phase of my existence.

there's been flooding in the midwest. and it was raining in chicago yesterday.

in ca yesterday, i babysat for about 9 hrs. at one point i found myself walking around the neighborhood with 5 children. i was thinking to myself that i MUST be crazy. and i also thought how much i enjoy it. maybe i will have 5 kids someday. haha! whoa!

and it was my sister's birthday. 19. oh man! baby sister is growing up.

goodmorning morning to afternoon.

Testing Testing One Two Three

so i am working on this new thing, where i am really honest about my life. i tell my feelings more and share things about myself and my life that i didn't previously. so, if you have any questions you've wanted to ask me before...go ahead, and i'll answer.


and in thinking on the matter above...

this year has been strange. it started out with such random adventuring to chicago and things seemed to be going well for many people....i mean, i swore this year was going to be a good year...a season of change but tremendously healthy change. and i saw it happening all around...to me...to loved ones, people i heard about. it was pretty encouraging. and i was so challenged in some of my academics and i felt like i really learned some new things not only about studies but about myself too. and in all that, in all the growing and feelings of overwhelm, i found myself in one of the lonliest seasons. and even now, i feel really lonely sometimes. like a piece of life is missing. that community i used to know. even the closeness of my own family seems to be lessened. and i don't understand that. and quite frankly, i abore that. haha.hmm. anyway, i still see everyday that i don't have control of anything in this crazy life. and sometimes maybe we just need to do whatever ya know. just do things. my father and i were talking about broken hearts the other day and how sometimes ppl use God as their reasoning not only for breaking hearts but for justifying any decision. and i think, we might be abusing that notion often times. yea, we can work towards a greater cause a greater existence, a greater life, but i think we need to remember ppl are fragile. i am fragile. i know that. i used to pretend i wasn't. but i am. and any decision we make, even if it be for the Lord's sake, we are affecting ppl. now don't get me wrong, i do believe that God can reveal paths, but i'm just saying, sometimes i think we choose paths and say they are God's revealed ones. just something to ponder.

i finally had a good cry yesterday. i hadn't cried a good cry for a while. u know, the kind that gives u a headache and takes away any desire to eat. yea, it was one of those. it felt good afterwards. but i still didn't feel all the way better. i guess that's life. i don't want to be a coward. and i don't want to get stuck in other people's lack of courage to be honest. and i don't want to pretend things that don't exist do. sometimes i do that too. but only to make myself feel better. we all need hope.

i have been thinking on africa lately and how i want to visit. and not just there but so many countries. and how there is so much we all can do to help the lives of the suffering. i would like to always raise money for those in need through benefit concerts and other creative outlets. it's really easy guys, we can do a lot. i also have been thinking about committment. haha. i went camping with some dear people and throughout the week of observing the realities of marriage and children, i said i didn't wanna ever get married. but that's not true. and i love children a lot. and for whatever reason, they love me. my mom says its because children are very aware of things and they can probably sense my sincerity. i'll take it. i do want to get married. i've been looking into mail-order grooms. just lying. i do have a friend though who is from bulgaria and she told me that i could marry her friend for some thousands of dollars so that he could come to america. i thought about it and how that would be an easy way to make some mula, but then again...yea right! i couldn't do it.

i am a nature woman. and a people lover. and a culture appreciator. and a hopefully soon to be teacher. i like to smoke cigars with my dad but i don't like cigarettes, they make me dizzy. i am a beauty. and sometimes i am ugly. we all are ugly sometimes...but that makes us human. i also am a leader. but a leader who wants to be lead. and just held sometimes ya know. i love big, strong, warm hugs. they make the world seem like a better place. i have been giving many hugs this summer. probably partly because i need them.

i am hopeful and sometimes i wish i could erase sections of my life. i am calm and sometimes i yell. i yelled at my dad today even. i'm not proud of that. i love him still. even when we don't understand each other...i think we have a deep understanding. my daddy will rub my back when my heart hurts. (thank u poppa.)

well...i'm gonna stop soon. this summer i have listened a lot more than usual. i have learned that when u just wait...those who usually listen...will speak up. and its fantastic. i like not talking sometimes. unless of course....i have a good story or something.

in the words of an 80yr old woman named bonnie that i visited with yesterday: "keep your ears clean kid!"

Weeping Willow

Pour myself a cup of OJ in the early morn
Drippy droppy drippy drop a bit more
Pick up the newspaper with my left hand, I see
Disaster, destruction, poverty, and maybe some celebrities
We call that news, I call that heart...break...ing

Driving down the freeway in my brown piece of car
I've got so much more than many
I've never had to hold the hand of my starving baby
See my Daddy die to a preventable disease

But
Weeping willows dry your eyes I know
We can find you some sunrise
If you would
Hold tight yea hold on to those dreams
We're coming we're building a love army

I hugged a tree today does that make me a tree hugger
I felt the soil today to see if I knew how you toil
We've ravaged, we've ravaged, all that we see
We've ravaged humanity

But weeping willow dry your eyes I know
We can find you some sunrise
If you would
Hold tight yea hold on to those dreams
We're coming we're building a love army

c.2007

What Are You Going to Be?

Ohhh the famous questions. what will you be? what are you going to do with that degree or certificate? ya know, all those questions that seem to require a "correct" answer. one society will accept and smile upon. one that we can feel proud to say. those questions sometimes make me nervous. like, i don't know if i even have the answers still because i want to do many things. so next time i am asked what i am going to be...perhaps i will answer with this:

i will be:

a teacher
a lover
a music maker
a mother
an artist
an author
a friend
a world traveler
a world changer
and then
after that
i will be more

In Other News

Contrary to what may have been my own popular belief...i am a romantic. and there it is. so go ahead and romance me.


and more importantly...i will learn people all over the world.

Oh Big Sur

oh big sur.
oh hiking.
oh bike riding.
oh sleeping in cramped community corners.
oh babies.
oh redwood trees.
oh ocean.
oh river.
oh breeze.
oh rice with milk products.
oh caffeine and nicotine.
in the morning.

Outdoor Delight

today was a glorious day of outdoor adventuring. i mean i had class but it got postponed and then canelled due to a guest speaker scheduling conflict, but anyway, i had the rest of the day to have outdoor adventures. i could have been job hunting more but honestly, today was just what i needed.

so here is what i did:

FIRST i met laurie for some hiking. i just learned today that the hike i did yesterday with megmeg and trina was 5 miles. laurie and i hiked that but more....so we probably hiked 6 or 7. THEN i got to go to SANTA CRUZ. let me tell u...i have been wanting to go there for months....it was a last minute invite from kristy and so i grabbed up megmeg and we got ourselves to the ocean. upon returning from the warmth of beachland, megan and i delighted in some delicious chicken salad dadup made. then we went for a bike ride. we stopped for some chai tea and pastries and then rode for a long time....visiting old memories by riding to our old elementary, junior high, and high school campuses. we even ran into a family i babysat for while i was in highschool. we also neglected to practice "safety first" as it got dark and we had no lights or reflectors on our bikes....dumb i know. we should be grounded.

all in all it was a wonderful day. laurie and i were discussing jobs and my lack of success in finding a steady summer one. laurie asked what i do on the days i don't have to work...and i said, well, i go to class but then i just want to be outdoors all the time. and i really do. when i hike, i just want to keep going. i'd like to take up more outdoor activities as well. such as learning to surf and trying to do some kyaking. and i hope hope to ride WAY more bikes if i can.

there u have it. a great fun day. hoorah! hooray.

Groaners

How do crazy people go through the forest?

Thay take the psycho path.


Where do you find a no legged dog?

Right where you left him.

Black Widow

oh what a tangled web we weave.
oh how
he weaves
she weaves
i weave
you weave
we
we
we weave
but weaves make messy colors of string into beautiful portraits of life
life lived
life laughed
life ached
life lost
life
life
life

Can I Just Say...

my life is so random and hilarious sometimes and i love the adventures i occasionally find myself on. especially when i can share them with a friend. :0)

apparently last night in san francisco my sandals matched my hair and my belt matched my hair and my sandals. oh yes and my shirt matched my eyes. and my hair felt like my sandals! hahaha. ohhhh boy. oh and in a taqueria in little italy all these ppl started chanting, "norway! norway! norway!..." it was quite twilight zoneish.

Walking

this morning, i parked a few blocks away from state. originally i was looking for the park and ride to get the cheapest possible parking rate but then realized there was some street that didn't require permits.

let me tell u how excited that made me feel. pretty much really excited.

just this morning i was adding in my head how much i would need to spend in parking this summer but now all i have to do is walk for about 15 minutes to get to school! and i like it. it's like i am back in chicago for a moment only with better weather. i have come to adore walking as a primary source of transportation. getting a bicycle would be next. i would like to get a bike and ride it to people's houses for visits. this weekend i think i might go for a long hike. i could really use some nature.

peace babies.

Pick Me Up Tomorrow

okay. are u ready to hear a one liner or what? i think u are.

let's set this up. picture shannon. (that's me) standing on the sidewalk by state waiting for my dahhdy to pick me up after class. i have been temporarily working at the same company he does so we car pool. it's been really fun working with poppa and carpooling. we get to be goofy and such. and just spend some time together. i have appreciated it. BUT THAT IS NOT PART OF THE STORY. let's get back to that.

so i'm standing in the shade minding my own business...greeting ppl as they walk past. then, two men walk by. they say hello and smile and i smile a hello back. one of the guys then says, "it's hot eh?" and i said, "yea, a little bit." then as they walked past me he turned around and practically yelled, "YEA YOU ARRRRE!" to which i replied in a short chuckle and an "oh geez."

later i met a homeless man. quite frankly i couldnt understand half the words...no...three fourths of the words he mumbled. i did catch, "chips" and "stay in the shade." imagine what it must be like to not be able to get ur words across. he didn't seem mad or frustrated. i just talked to him best i could.

my sister is on the phone right now and she just said, "u need a BOY to go to the drive-ins" haha. ha.

Ya Know How We All...

ya know how we all have those things we need to work on? well, i have been learning more and more that it's completely alright to have struggles...others and myself. i used to believe there were aspects of myself that i needed to hide. things that existed but that i needed to solve on my own....straighten myself out and then work to present myself at 110%. but the truth of the matter is that doesn't even exist...that 110%. and i am working to be okay with say the 85% or the whatever percent i have available each day. some days i feel very confident and peaceful about where i am, who i am, where i am headed. and some days, i feel like an insecure girl just hitting puberty or something. and u know what? that's okay. things are often only temporary, and life will go on. and...well...let's just hold each other for a while or something.

my friend's dad once said that when things happen, sometimes that's all it is. they just happen. it doesn't mean anything necessarily about any person in particular, it just means, at that time, that happened. i like that. it may not fit for everything but still i like it. that's another thing i'm recognizing about myself. sometimes i pretend i am letting go, when really i'm not for fear that i could mess up the future, what could be, what should have, what might. but that's not living in the present and i want to continue in the present...looking forward to the future but not trying to figure it out before it gets here. all these things are perhaps challenging but that's what the journey is about right? we all have incredible worth.

so my current vices? comparison, doubt of self worth and ability, and holding back. the process of defeat begun a long while ago but its all about the journey of it all right? continuing to better oneself as time moves along. and my friends, u are welcomed to call me on things when i slip. or just call me.

Good Times

3:42 in the AM

it's 3:42am.

i am on page 8 of 15 for my final paper for philosophy of art. it is worth half my grade and due by 12:30pm tomorrow.

i have an exam for intro to bible in about 4 hrs as well. hmm

droopy eyelids u better listen up and get unsleepy!
and brain...come on....keeeeeeep going.

i head back home tomorrow night. i am excited. hey ocean, i'm coming to visit u.

Whoa lady...whoa

so today at work i had this discussion with a customer...

(we will call the woman "lady")

lady: do u guys have any rum balls?
me: not today.
lady: do u usually have them?
me: yes, but they are all gone today.
lady: can u check in the refrigerator?
me: there aren't any they got all bought up. ( i said this is my playful, casual way...knowing it wasn't exactly proper english)
lady: u mean purchased.
me: what?
lady: boughten is not a word. u need to say purchased.
me: i was just speaking casually, it's okay.
lady: no it's not. what kind of example will u be for ur children?
me: i have good english. i even thought about being an english major.

then the lady proceeded to correct me again...i got frustrated and went in the back to get a cake for a customer who had come in. i guess while i was in the back the woman called me unbelievable.

uhh...who does that? y would a woman come into a place and start correcting people she doesn't even know? she was not polite and i felt she had no place. i guess she told my coworker she is a college english teacher....but still...i felt insulted and like i needed to suddenly justify myself and let her know i write songs and get A's in english courses and yadda yadda. she didn't even know me. what if english was my second language and i struggled to be proper all the time? anyway, that happened. true story. whoa lady...whoa.

Chicago Sleepout

friday night i had the privilege of taking part in something called the Chicago Sleepout. It was started in 2005 and its purpose is to raise awareness and funds for the problem regarding homelessness...specifically youth homelessness. It started on Friday at about 2pm and included many acitivites such as: petition signing, guest speakers, free dinner, dumpster diving for cardboard, collecting warm donations, and talking with the homelesss who came to the event. i missed the earlier stuff as i had classes on friday BUT a friend drew and i went down at around 7:00pm. i had the opportunity to meet some great homeless folk from the city. we had a prayer service in this huge, amazingly beautiful methodist church at around 9ish, and then, we were going to spend the night sleeping on the street with our homeless brothers and sisters.

UNfortunately, there was a problem with getting a permit for Daley Center where we would have slept, past 11pm. (some concert caused the city to pass a new ordinance). So we tried to set up next to the methodist church, but the propertyt next door said we were too close. funny how public property isn't always public. we had to keep packing up our stuff...what a great reality of a homeless person's life.

so here is what we did instead...we spent the night riding the el. the group i was in took the blue line which runs for about 2 hrs nonstop before having to get off and transfer back on. we rode it probably for 1.5 hrs straight at most....we did a lot of getting on and off. all night i probably slept about 30 min. the experience was both humbling and eye opening. the thing is...sometimes while i was riding the el, i was so cold and tired but couldn't sleep...and then, we'd get off and have to wait outside in the cold for the next train to come...and all i could do was sway back and forth. i mean, we could talk to friends and such, but eventually i kinda stopped talking. it seemed like it shouldn't be fun and it wasn't always comfortable...and i kept thinking, man, i just wanna go home...but then i put myself in the position of someone homeless and realized this could be their life...they don't have somewhere to go "home." this guy lenny who was with us was homeless for a month and did exactly what we were doing every night. he told us that after riding it for just one night again with us, he has no idea how he did it for a whole month. the most humbling part was sitting on the el next to a man who was drooling and smelled very strong. i told myself i couldn't move away from him because i was sposed to be experiencing his life and so i stayed. then this other man came and sat down practically on top of me...but actually next to me. and i was squashed. and the whole trip, the man with the "perfume" had his head down and it was rubbing up against my coat side...and i was so uncomfortable...but stayed.

overall it was an experience. i will do it again next year if possible. it was neat to see people come out and care for people. i have some new friends now...homeless and not and i will never forget the sleepout ya know. we ended at about 7am sat morning....i got home near 8am...slept for two hrs and then like a zombie went to work from 1:30-8:00.

and now for a story...even though this is SO long already. two new friends i made are Gail and Tommy. Gail has been homeless for about 3 years and Tommy I am not sure. they are a cute couple...those two. and they both were so positive and friendly and funny too. anyway, while i was walking and talking with them...i asked : "do u guys get ur eight affectionate touches a day? because they say u need to have at least 8 to fulfill our affection requirements." Gail joked, "i try to get six out of Tommy everyday!" then Tommy said, " Shannon. do u really believe that?" and i replied, "Yea. i mean, some days, i spend all day alone it seems, walking around doing whatever, and if i haven't had any hugs or affection, i start to feel lonely and like i wish i just had someone to walk with me or something." gail was like, "yea, it's nice to just have a friend to talk to." then i said in my funny positive shannon talk, "SO, if u guys need any hugs, i've got some!" later on, as we were setting up our sleeping bags before we found out we couldn't stay next to the church, Tommy came up to me and said, "shannon? where are u sleeping?" i replied, "i dunno, probably somewhere near u." then he said, (and i will never forget it and almost cried at his amazing heart)..."Shannon...maybe u can sleep near Gail so u won't have to be alone."

they left that night as we couldn't all have a sleepover together...and they wanted to try and find like an alley or something, but on our way out, they were walking down the street back to meet everyone, it was like an answer to prayer. i was afraid i wouldn't see them in the morning and we had said we would. They were both smiling as usual and remembered our names. and the best part....both Tommy and Gail gave ME a hug as we said our hellos and goodbyes. they are beautiful people and i look forward to the next time i get to see them. y do some people forget that we are ALL human...

here is a link to check out if u want more info: www.tothestreets.org

And Now for Another Story About One Time...

Alright sooo...if my name is shannon, and i am pretty sure it is, i tend to find myself in weird situations, with weird ppl, having weird freaky things happen to me. and yesterday my friends, was a day of a freak accident. u see, before i was about to go to anatomy lab, i stubbed my left pinky toe,(known in anatomy as my left 5th metatarsal), on a wooden doorframe in our apartment. the thing is...normally, u would think a forceful stubbing of a toe on a doorframe could lead to oh a sprain or break even...but NO...instead, a piece of flesh ripped up on my toe. and not just a small piece...a pretty big deep piece. as is a typical shannon reaction...i said a few choice words, looked at my toe...thought i knocked up my toenail...realized it was ACTUALLY my skin which was knocked up...and stared at it. eventually it started to bleed and i began to laugh and pace and feel nervous...not knowing how bad this injury actually was. one of my roomates was home but she was sleeping and what could she really have done? i dunno. the health office at school was yet to be open, so i called my other roomate alanna and she said i should call our friend trevor because, "he knows what to do in emergencies." he came over with a first aid kit and alanna came back too, as she wasn't feeling very well, and we did a makeshift clean and wrap job. then i went to class. after class, i went to the nurses office to ask if i could get it cleaned out properly. the nurse ,named jaunita, took off the bandage and said, "ooooh baby girl!" she then preceeded to inform me that i would need some stitches. stitches! haha. soo....i had to get myself to the doctor. and i did. and the doctor who stitched me up was really fun and funny and a med student was there observing and she was cool too. basically it was like party in that patient room. but i will have u know...getting the numbing shots...about 4...in the base of my pinky toe was SO painful...while i was enduring the pain....i said, "just cut the whole toe off." haha. anyway, so i can't run for a while....or wear normal close toed shoes...so i wear one of alanna's flip flops. today it has been snowing and raining...so my foot has been fairly numb. welcome to my freak world...sometimes it seems ridiculous and twilight zone-ish. but nevertheless....HILARIOUS. i know these pictures aren't very clear but they should give u an idea. it actually looks pretty gross up close.

One Time

a couple weeks ago havs and i had a dinner date at this delightful indian buffet restaurant. it is a little hole in the wall of a place but man oh man is the food DELICIOUS. about $9 and all u can eat? i'll take it. u may notice my skin has turned a new shade of pale since living here. thank goodness for moisturizer. if u are wondering what i am about to eat...it is amazing lentil soup stuff.

Roomies

These are my lovely roomates Alanna and Havalyn....in that order. Alanna is from New York and Havs is from Wisconsin. We have some good times...especially at bedtime. They have been a blessing in my life this semester. You would like them.

Ohhhh Niagara

During Spring Break in March I got to go to Niagara Falls and see THAT! Pretty darn gorgeous huh? And now for a funny piece of history: The first woman to go over this fall and survive was like a 60 yr old teacher . She went in a wooden barrel with her cat. The crazy lady took her cat! And they both survived. The things we do...P.S. this photo is from the Canadian side.

Ronald

(hey look glen...finally)

today i met a man named ronald michael. he is homeless. he came into the bakery i work at in chicago this evening, ordered a coffee, and asked if we had any cinnamon rolls on "credit." i said no but i let him have some free cookie samples. i was trying to be intentional ya know? acknowledge him as a human rather than "that homeless man." his being present caused an uproar though because he didn't smell very pleasant and his "perfume" was causing the entire bakery cafe to hold his odor. one of the managers asked him to leave. where should the line be drawn ya know? he is a human too and he was a paying customer but he comes in a lot i was informed, and it's bad for business...but...i'm glad i at least asked his name.

and the awkward award goes to me for this week. the winning line is:

"maybe we'll see each other in a social situation some time..."

no joke. i said that to someone. distract me while i'm talking and who knows what u'll get.